ONE + ONE = THREE!

From private practice to academic practice, from a city that never sleeps to one where we were finally able to sleep peacefully, half a decade has passed. Harking back to our practice days, of which we have many fond memories, here's a gem my husband penned-


Dear cousins ,

Long time no messages from anybody on "Poduval Cousins". Anyway this is something that kept Jayita laughing for an hour after dinner today.The background is as follows:

A friend of mine sent me a patient at my clinic. After the consultation her mother started asking me if I would see her knees also, and inquired whether she would be charged. I said "of course!" and she looked disappointed; Jayita suggested that in the age of FREEBIES in the market the lady felt that “ek patient ke liye ek free offer hoga”. I then set out to make a plan to sell our wares to such patients in an ORTHO AND ENT HOSPITAL which we set up in Mira Road. [God forbid we have to really do it!]

Here is my pitch [small print is enlarged for free and is in brackets]!!!

1) For every tonsil removed the other will be removed for free.

    [conditions apply- tonsil essential to avail of free offer.Not transferable to any other individual]

2) For every bone fixed by us we will fix the next one for free.

    [not transferable- valid for limited period from date of surgery- condition of doctors apply]

3) For every injection you take we will give you another one free.

    [cost of materials excluded from offer- nursing charges apply]

4) Get a tonsillectomy for your little girl and we will pierce her ears for free and throw in a diamond stud as well.

    [condition of diamond not doctors' liability- original or real diamond not part of offer- we give American  diamond only subject to supply and demand]

5) For every four surgeries one operation free.

    [up to Rs 2000 only; not transferable to other patient or discipline i.e. for 4 ENT surgery one ENT surgery free for same patient up to Rs 2000 billing]

6) For every catheter passed we give the patient a free enema.

    [charges of consumables apply]

7) Free meals with every admission.

   [delivery charges applicable-no special meals-only snacks and breakfast supplied-valid for admissions in special and deluxe class only and for admissions predicted more than 10 days-valid on cash and non Mediclaim cases only]

8) Limited period inaugural offer: Free ear drops and pain- relieving ointment with every joint ENT and Ortho consultation- till samples last........!

9) Senior citizen package: Free balance testing with every audiometry and purchase of Siemens digital hearing aid, plus bone densitometry at 50% concession!! 

10) Best deal: You break a limb and get it fixed by us, we break the other and get it fixed for free, increases your compensation, more days of leave and better service, higher class admission at lower rates, and ideal for 'Mediclaim with disability' holders!!!

U WANT TO ADD ANY MORE         PLEASE DO    ALL IN HUMOR     NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE    COMMENTS WELCOME 

[Murali's Musings- a long, long time ago....]